Today's Special!

TODAY'S SPECIAL ~ Crazy with a shot of More Crazy


Blood, Sweat, Tears

Do you like things that people make with their bare hands while nude in a fit of rage??? Well, then go to this blog and follow the simple rules listed because you can win, YES WIN, one of those very things (pictured below, I know it's AWESOME)...

I am not really sure if she is nude or having fits while she makes these beautiful things but I am sure these works of art are made with her bare hands and they do come from her beautiful mind. BEWARE ~ her talent will make you question what you are doing with your life.

By the way, to win something means you'll get it for free if you are chosen. So, as most of you are probably aware we all can't be winners. If at the end of this giveaway you are shedding tears of dissapointment then go to her shop on and buy something, you cheap skate!
(follow this link

P.S. if the canvas doesn't make you want to enter her giveaway then please just enter in hopes that in doing so she forgives me for all the times I made her dance and lip synch to Wilson Phillips.

Fondly ~ SumSum


Better Luck Tomorrow...

I only have time to say these few things:
  • I already miss Jersey Shore.
  • I can't believe Ronnie and Samantha are not going to be together forever.
  • Snookie has no upper lip and it bugs the shit out of me.
  • I want to meet one person who does not think "The Situation" is the most feminine straight dude they have ever seen. Did you see how he talks on the phone and the faces he makes??? Total girl!
  • MTV has offered the original cast a $10k signing bonus AND $10k an episode (this was after they did not accept $5k an episode) for a Jersey Shore Season 2. There will be 12 episodes so they would each look at banking $130k for occupational duties like hanging out in a hot tub filled with semen, getting black out drunk, boardwalk wrestling and my absolute favorite and quite possibly my life calling BEATING UP THE BEAT. I do this stuff for free! Someone from MTV needs to f'g call me!

Fondly ~ SumSum or my Jersey Shore name SumFunBuns (I just made that up...)



I don't know if you can quite make out this genius idea for a vanity plate but it states WSKYGAL. Now, I know what you are clever must one be to blatantly advertise their alcoholism on something like their license plate. I KNOW!!! I have been kicking myself that I don't have my own vanity plate...something along the lines of ILUVMETH or IMHIGH maybe even MESOHORNY (too long?).
So WSKYGAL, I hope you enjoy your next serving of alcoholic beverage distilled from fermented grain mash and good luck with the next DUI you f'g moron.
Side note - That really happened!
Disclaimer - I do not do meth, nor get high on any substance other than life and I'm never horny.

Fondly ~ SumSum



Ahh and so it is ability to hear dead people, the emotions that have ensued from said experience and then my morning of anger/tears with a side of cramping is a sure tell that Aunt Flo is coming to visit. What? You haven't been chomping at the bit to know my menstrual cycle? That's not what I heard...

Anyway, to all you lasses that have a period on the same day every month without fail for a few short days and then are able to move on with life...screw you. My little friend comes whenever it wants and sticks around for however long it sees fit (weeks people, freakin' weeks). It's kind of like my toddlers, it irritates and pokes at me and takes me just to the point where I might lose my mind and then it backs off. They all come from the same place so isn't the connection ironic? This misery is all thanks to an alien implant I have in my arm to keep babies away. Sorry Catholics! Let me just tell you...I'm about ready to go to the ol' trusty pull out method and we know how well that works.

Exhibit A (that's a brand new Huddy Bear who will have his own post someday when he takes a break from eating)

I still stand by the fact that sweet baby was conceived through my belly button. Yes, it was a miracle! I also blame a dear friend of mine that "accidentally" got pregnant around the same time. You know how your cycle sometimes starts to copy someone that you are spending a lot of time with? Well I think that happened to me only my body decided instead to copy her fertility. Thanks a lot, and yes I'm talking to you Myers! That's why we can't hang out anymore...

Fondly ~ SumSum


Haley Joel Osment or John Edwards???

Hi avid blog reader...this is going to be a little different than previous blogs but I believe everything happens for a reason and now the reason is to write about it in this blog. How's that for full circle?

Last night I was in the moment where I am sleeping but still awake...hazy, total relaxation, just on the edge of really dozing off into a slumber of beauty when I hear my dad's laugh. I HEARD IT! Somewhere in my mind or in my heart, I'm not sure where really. Although I was in that suspended state I knew I had to hold on as long as I could because maybe, just maybe, I could make it happen again.

For those of you who don't know me and are reading this, my dad is dead. He died this past August and I watched it happen. It was years in the making but time never prepares you for a loved ones end days.

This is my dad and Ry Guy (my crazy oldest son who hasn't yet been properly introduced but more on him at a later date)~

I willed and willed to just hear his laugh one more time as I laid so still in that in between state of reality and dream but it didn't happen. I have been talking to him since the day he left and I always thought I would hear his answers but I never do. Actually hearing him last night was upsetting and comforting. It was upsetting because I miss that laugh but comforting because maybe he isn't sitting around waiting to give me an answer to my latest stupid question. I have solace in knowing that where he is, he is laughing...and maybe he is reading my blog. :)

Fondly ~ SumSum


Am I hateful?

I barfed today during, not because I am trying out the new anorexia/bulimia diet that's all the rage in Hollywood but because I read this article...

12 Things Men Really Find Romantic
If you have been kicking yourself to reignite the spark with your husband/boyfriend/that dude that only calls after the bar is closing...go ahead and click on the link...I dare you!

However, teetering on whatever plagiarism legalities I may be facing with RedBook I am going to share with you some of my favorites and what I really think of them.
(side note - I am happily married and I do like my husband but I am also a realist)

1. Dress up for him
I have two toddler boys, my outfit needs to be ready for any catastrophe. Last I checked stilettos aren't the best footwear to run after my 3 year old when he decides to dart out into traffic. You want romance? I just saved our child from being plowed over by a mini van. I love you.

2. Touch him all over, all the time
I like to dig at the occasional black head on his back, if that's not sexy I don't know what is.

3. Give him a night out with the boys - no strings attached
Are you kidding me? You don't have to say that twice. The only way I'm going to be able to finish Slumdog Millionaire is if he gets out of the house hence allowing me to touch the remote.

4. Show up at his office
There is only one good reason to show up at his office and that is to make sure he isn't getting chummy with the secretary. My husband doesn't have an office and the closest thing he has to a secretary is the waitress at Leo's and guess what, I'M WATCHING YOU!

5. Make sex with him an event
Newsflash - if we are having sex it is an event! You want a little extra? Here is a sparkler...

6. Tell him a secret
I do, all of the things you all tell me not to tell anyone. BUSTED!

7. Slow down dinner
If we slow down dinner, then we extend the time the kids are up which means my bedtime is pushed later. Eat, kiddies baths/bed, relax and repeat the next day.
Tired Mommy = Mommy Dearest

8. Do a sexy little bump and grind striptease

Fondly ~ SumSum


Ravioli brings all the boys to the yard...

All this time I thought it was milkshakes but apparently I was wrong. I post one recipe on my blog and what happens??? I get another follower, granted it's not a boy and it might be another cousin but I'm counting that shit as success.

On another note, I don't cook and I'm not really great at cleaning up after a meal either so I don't think posting recipes will be my key to blog fame. To tell you the truth, I'm not in this to be famous I just really like talking about myself...hahahahahahaha, that's bullshit (I'm speaking of the not wanting to be famous part, the love affair I have with all things me is absolutely true).

In fact, I'm thinking about somehow changing my nationality to Italian just so I can have a shot at Jersey Shore season 2...if MTV gets one look at my fist pumping skills and my ability to take a punch from New Jersey Elementary School gym teachers I'm on that show faster than you can say mozzarella.
I need to work on NOT pointing my finger as I beat up that beat...and not being seated might work more in my favor as well.



I'm eating lunch...

So I'm not sure if I'm going about this whole thing in the appropriate fashion...this all seems so egotistical to me, which is very fitting for my personality but how will I ever get any followers who 1) aren't my cousin (I love you Jenni and your Tinkerdot Designs) and 2) care about what I have to say. I can't stand this pressure.
Shall I start posting recipes? If so, I'm eating Ravioli made by the infamous Chefboyardee.

1-Buy can from your local supermarket that does not go by the name Whole Foods
2-Open can (which is so much easier nowadays thanks to the pop can tops)
3-Place in bowl (this part can be messy depending on how you like to release the ravioli from the can, use extreme caution...I'm wearing some of my ravioli so I do not suggest using the bottom taparoo method aka the heinz glass ketchup bottle method)
4-Microwave for 2 minutes (times may vary depending on your old ass microwave)

Let's see if the people start to flock to my blog now!!!
ding, ding, ding, ding (that's what a dinner bell sounds like) Come & Get It!!!!!



I said that!?!

Things I like to do but shouldn't admit liking or doing:
  1. Talk about people behind their back
  2. Go to that same person and reference something that was said while practicing #1 in a nice/funny way so they would never think I talk about them
  3. Have pretend arguments with someone that has pissed me off while getting ready for work and say everything I want to say but can't because of certain policies and procedures or society rules, smile at them later that day
  4. Grocery shopping alone and coming home and acting as if it was the worst experience ever so I may continue to get my alone time at the grocery store
  5. Call little people midgets




I knew this was going to happen...

I get this great idea, hey start a blog to feed my writing addiction, but as with most things in my life I start it and then it is left on my bedroom floor in a heaping pile waiting to be found for months, hell years. I can't commit to save my life (this coming from someone in a 16 year relationship) but perhaps if I give myself some GD goals to this thing called 'blog' I'll keep up on it. So here it goes...I SumSum, promise SumSum to write once a day a story about my (SumSum's) day/life/make believe land in which I control midgets with mind candy. The outcome being preventing the soon to be stalkers lurking at the corner to even need to stalk me because everything you need to know is here. SumSum, I agree.
Well, now that is out of the way...I'll see you followers (or extreme lack thereof, meaning NONE) tomorrow. This same time and same channel...
BTW, I just found on that watchdog site that a dude lives in my subdivision that likes child porn...looks like my boys won't be running the neighborhood with their nuggets hanging out anymore. WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO!!!!!