Today's Special!

TODAY'S SPECIAL ~ Crazy with a shot of More Crazy

Tuesday

Backhanded Samaritan...

This weekend I watched for the first time Pay it Forward.  It's a cute little flick about an alcoholic mother (most of us can relate), a deformed face teacher and a son who is going to make the world a better place three people at a time.  That really sums up the entire movie so don't put it in your Netflix queue.
This morning, on my way to work and very late as usual I see a young gentleman walking down the side of a rather busy street carrying a gas can with a baby carrier and a very small toddler on a make shift leash.  I drive by like everyone else on their morning commute and begin arguing with myself that I should turn around.  That stupid movie from the weekend urging me to do something nice for this father.  Also how can I as a mother, in good conscience, allow these small babies to be put in harm's way walking down the shoulder of this road?  I put on my blinker and make a U-turn.  This is when every freaking e-mail I have ever received about the newest gang initiation starts flooding my thoughts...the baby carrier is actually empty but filled with some kind of hallucinogenic drug that will make me pass out and this guy will take me in as a prisoner and make me his Kizzie, or I will reach for the gas can and a hypodermic needle with AIDS blood on it will poke me and I will re-live Philadelphia only I won't have a super hot stud like Antonio Banderas to help me put make-up on my scabs, even worse the guy will ask me to stay with his children while he goes and gets gas and he never comes back and I am then left with two more young toddlers when the ones I have are eating away at my sanity.  I pull my vehicle in front of the threesome and ask the obvious, "you need gas?"  I suffer from brilliance...he murmurs "yes" and my head is chanting "rapist, rapist, rapist" but I take my chances and grab the gas can and explain I'll go get his gas and for him to take those babies back to his vehicle (which is very well suited for kidnapping a naive 30 something mother of two).  Fast forward to my drive back to the car with the full can...I call my husband and explain I am helping some dude with two babies and give him a full description of my future captor and describe the car where I will be held for months putting lotion on my skin and as I'm pulling over I do so in a way so I can give him the license plate number.  I get out, preparing for the worst and hand the gas can to the young father.  Not wanting to sound entirely corny and say to him "pay it forward" because he must know I just watched the movie and that is most of the reason I am doing this in the first place I instruct him to, "do something nice for somebody else".
There you have it, my first attempt at making the world a better place.  Eat that Haley Joel Osment!  To the dude on the side of the road, sorry I thought you wanted to kidnap me and make a pretty suit from my flesh.  Pay it Forward!

6 comments:

  1. Summer that is an AWESOME story!! Great job paying it forward :) It's sad that those scary thoughts are very real. But, really...how could you have left babies walking on the side of the road? Good decision you fabulous person, you! 2 awesome things in one week too...a SUPER donation to my team AND this. I think you're good for the year ;)

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  2. You did the right thing...no shame in saying "pay it forward", been saying it for a long time now :)

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  3. Yeah, but you see what it got that kid in the movie in the end...what kind of jive-ass ending was that? And was the message that no good deed goes unpunished?
    That aside, you did the right thing...

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  4. well, i'm not going to make doing the right thing a habit or anything...do i look like spike lee? well, with the glasses, maybe

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  5. You are frickin' hilarious....and the more I read your posts, the more I believe that we were seperated at birth! Seriously!

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