Big Brother is obviously keeping a watchful eye on my internet voyages and has certainly sabotaged my afternoon blogging. I don't understand what the big deal is...sure, I am clearly not obeying the electronic communications policy set forth in the employee handbook but it's not like I'm the one knee deep in porn (today). I'm not the one sending love e-mails to the married person I'm having a lucid affair with in another department (yes, that is really happening and it is as juicy as it sounds). I'm not spending 20 minutes 3+ times each day in the handicap stall suffering from wicked IBS (we have code words for when not to enter the facilities; RED=do not enter/PINK=subtle shat scent/CLEAR=proceed with your own dump). I'm not traveling from cubicle to cubicle spreading my halitosis around the entire floor (I really think this person has a serious medical condition and their breath is screaming a warning to deaf ears). I'm certainly not the one sitting at my desk all day picking at acne on my neck and then going into the kitchen to grab cookies brought in for the whole office (no one touched the casserole this person brought in during the Christmas pot luck). I blog and if that's a crime, damn it, sue me but don't fire me because as much as I don't want to admit it I need this gig...at least until Andy Samberg stumbles upon my blog and wants me to write the follow up to Dick in a Box, Twat in a Tote.
Fondly ~ SumSum