The topic on my fave talk radio show this morning brought this diagnosis to my attention as they were talking about random flashes of thought that come to you out of nowhere. Sometimes they are violent, sometimes they are frightening and sometimes they are just weird or stupid. One of the DJ's said he has them all the time while the other morning crew were quick to point the finger and say, "That's not normal...YOU ARE CRAZY!"
Well, the random flash of thought he was describing I have experienced, and then some. The one he shared was running someone over with his vehicle and just the fact that if he decided he wanted to run over someone he could because we have that power, we just choose to not flatten an unsuspecting pedestrian with our car. Yeah, I've had that thought. I'm not running over anyone in particular out of anger just get lost in the thought of what if...as an accident...some I know what you did last summer shit went down, what would I do? Then they opened the phone lines for other people to share their random crazy flashes of thought and that is when I made the conclusion everyone is crazy and most just ignore it and/or deny it. This gal phones in and she shares how sometimes she thinks how easy it would be to snap her Chihuahua's neck...she doesn't want to snap her pet's neck but the thought has crossed her mind that it could be done and with little to no strength needed on her part. She was chased away by everyone on the radio show calling her a murderer. Hence why when you have these thoughts you probably shouldn't admit them.
But no one can tell me what to do so I am going to share a few of my sometimes violent, sometimes frightening and sometimes just weird and stupid flashes I have in hopes you say, "Me too!"...but I think more so you'll shake your head in sorrow and crush up that lithium...
- Driving my truck off a cliff on I-75, usually followed by the thoughts of what I have leftover in take out wrappers in the back seat in case I am stranded for days...you know how desolate I-75 is??? (I never said these had to be realistic)
- Dropping a newborn (on accident, geez!!!!)...this one popped up after I had Ryser, I think I had the vision a million times of me dropping him on the marble table or on concrete. It was so vivid it made the hair on my neck stand up.
- Slapping someone in the face, specifically people that are staring and you catch them and when you smile at them they look away - what if I just walked up and smacked them for being rude?
- Running over someone, as mentioned previously...I also think if I would bounce in my vehicle as if I were in a dune buggy.
- Smothering Todd with a pillow...haha, just kidding Todd. If I kill you I won't get your life insurance.
- The boys falling through the ice and chasing them through the ice but not being able to get them ~ this is a seasonal flash
- Disappearing...instead of getting off at exit 108 just keep driving and look for that awesome wig J-Lo found for her disguise in "Enough" so no one could recognize me
- Ghost, Goblins, stupid Bloody Mary...I can freak myself out in seconds in the dark
- My absolute favorite and something I hope does come true someday ~ living on the road, no address, no destination...just me & Woody in our Winney.
Fondly ~ SumSum