Today's Special!

TODAY'S SPECIAL ~ Crazy with a shot of More Crazy

Wednesday

Do you want to piss me off?

Here is how...
  • Drive with your blinker on.  You can't hear the tick tick tick of your blinker because I'm not even in your car but because I see the light flashing my brain is making the fucking tick tick tick sound!?!
  • Talk to me while I'm eating chips.  I can't fucking hear you over the crispy crunchy deliciousness of these fried potatoes so you are just going to have to repeat yourself which also pisses me off...
  • Saying something multiple times before you answer me and then suggest that I might be mumbling...I don't know how to mumble!  I am the loudest, most obnoxious chick on the planet!
  • Question me on why I didn't do A, B or C task when I was never even asked to do those tasks in the first place and then I have to spend the next 20 minutes searching my archive e-mails to prove I was never given those tasks.  Productivity at it's finest right there!
  • Make me explain why my last comment or joke or obscure statement is funny which I will have to do  when you don't laugh at the appropriate time, or look at me with a "huh?" face...you are a fucking idiot obviously and my humor is that of a genius (think Rain Man)
  • Yell at me on the highway when you are the one driving like Helen Keller...if Helen Keller had dementia.
All of the above things have happened to me TODAY!  TO-fucking-DAY and it is barely past noon!  So, ask me how I am doing today.

How to piss me off...cont.
  • Ask me how I am doing in a real cheery, happy to be alive, dripping with positivity voice when it is apparent that my day sucks donkey ass...and yes, it sucks an ass's ass.

2 comments:

  1. First of all, I'm using my most depressing and somber voice. "So how are you doing today?"

    You're flipping me off through the computer, aren't you?

    Anyway, I'm sending Opto-Mom hugs to you for a better day tomorrow!

    ReplyDelete
  2. i felt the depression, thank you opto-mom! today, so far so good... ;)

    ReplyDelete