I apologize for my absence...I'm super duper busy at work and that is when I blog...I'm extremely productive! Want to hire me?
Short and sweet and completely offensive to Catholics (apologies in advance)...
I was driving home from work and I always pass a Catholic school. This specific evening, I see the priest who is a rather young, dark haired gentlemen with a perfectly styled coif walking with a teenage boy, dressed in a basketball uniform leaving what appears to be the priest's quarters and returning to the school located across the street. I immediately jump to the conclusion that this child has just paid his alter boy dues. I concoct this elaborate and rather disturbing story line in my head and then make it my mission to try and get a look at the boys face. What expression lies there...guilt, shame, sorrow, maybe even acceptance? This seriously happened in less then 4 seconds as I passed the school. I was completely sold that in about 5 years I am going to see this kid on A&E's Intervention that I had goose bumps for half of my hour drive home.
What does this prove? Simply that the scene in Basketball Diaries where Coach Swifty tries to touch Jim's nugs in the locker room has made every grown man with a perfectly side swept, lacquered hairstyle accompanied with a high school age basketball player a pedophile. Completely reasonable...
when i was at the grocery store yesterday, the woman in front of me in line was being sheisty, asking about some gift box of Axe body spray. it sounded like she was trying to say it was the last one and there was no price on it and she should totally get it for free. but when the cashier told her how much they were, she changed her mind and looked at it like it was a steaming hot turd.
ReplyDeletethe whole time this was going on, i felt bad for this theiving woman and her two ratty looking kids. what if she can't afford fancy video games and cell phones and was merely going to buy that as a christmas gift for her poor kids?? what if she has a son who's getting stinky teenager armpits and girls at school won't talk to him because he smells like onions and she wants to surprise him with some manly stuff under the christmas tree???
we'll never know the truth. but we do know that i will continue to make up stories about people being less fortunate.
You should have purchased the Axe body spray for the woman and ran out to her in the parking lot while doing double pits to chesty...tis the season. However, I am picturing that as you hand the woman the gift box she looks at you in disgust and bellows, "my husband was wearing that scent when I caught him boning my sister who is also my cousin" You then are left with this box of heat igniting citrus scented man's spray wondering how it could be her sister and her cousin...moral of the story ~ let the kid smell like onions!
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