I hate the turtle...this animal has already cost more of my time than most humans. I feed it, turn the heating light on and off and fill the water when it gets low. The other day, I was replacing the water with a cup I use for the boys bath and all of a sudden I noticed a film on the top of his water (remnants of no tear shampoo...oops). At first I was going to blame BP and just go on with my life but I couldn't fucking do it!!! So here I am at 6am, when people like Snoop Dog have bitches in the living room gettin' it on, cleaning out the damn fish tank. I want the turtle dead but it can't be by my own hands...I need to let the boys play with it more, perhaps while balancing over sulfuric acid.
Hudson spent most of last week battling an "unexplained fever" because doctor's go to school for all those years and make all that money to give you that kind of diagnosis. I can't wait to pay the bill for that office call. Anyway, so the boys spent a lot of time with grandma and grandpa so I could still bring home the bacon. Ryser comes home on Friday with a gash between his eyes that grandma so nonchalantly referred to as a paper cut. I ask, "Ryser, how did you get that boo boo on your head?" He isn't familiar with the term gash yet...and he responds, "Beau threw a stupid giraffe and hit me in the stupid head" I correct him and explain that his head isn't stupid but high five on the correlation between stupidity and giraffes. Have you ever seen a giraffe do a trick? Exactly...I'm basically raising a genius!
Shirts that cost under $20 should not have dry clean only as a care instruction. You should also not wash said shirt if you liked the way it looked upon purchasing it.
A point to support my "Stupid Giraffe" movement:
- Lions and large packs of hyenas, are the giraffe's enemies.
- A lion can die if kicked by a giraffe.
If a Lion can die by being kicked by a Giraffe then why would it be listed as one of it's enemies? Because Giraffes are stupid...
..and apparently, much like us women, love screwing an ass...POW! I'll be here all night.
Fondly ~ SumSum
Wow. That picture is disturbing. Good luck offing the turtle. Nice Snoop reference!
ReplyDeleteSorry to say this is the first I have read this, but I had to write, once again, to tell you how freakin' hilarious you are.
ReplyDeleteAlso, Ryser IS a genius..giraffes ARE stupid.
A little bird told me you might be coming up for L's b-day party?? YAY!
Interesting.
ReplyDelete