Today's Special!

TODAY'S SPECIAL ~ Crazy with a shot of More Crazy


House calls are for perverts (aka I miss house calls)...

So, Ryser ends up coming down with the "unexplained fever" last week that Hudson had the week before but Ryser's lingered without explanation for over four days. So, I called the pediatrician's office and asked the nurse the dreaded, "Should I bring him in?" question so she could reply, "Yes" and I would then have to stop off at the nearest chug and choke corner to make a few extra bucks to afford the copay. Just kidding, I had money left over from amateur night from the T&A showbar. Do you really think I'd roll a couple of johns while my sick, feverish son was watching TMNT in the back seat of the MOMtana. Give me some mf'g credit people.
Anyway, I leave work early and take Ry to the doctor because according to the on call nurse a fever that lasts that long must have turned into a sinus infection. I'm thinking we would walk out of there with some antibiotics and get on with our lives and all would be right with the world again. However, this happened to be the day that Dr. Feelgood was on staff and he was not concerned with making anyone other than himself feel alright.
He talked the entire time in baby talk, to me and to my son. He says, "eaws awe cwean, nose is cwean, throat wooks good...nope, no big bad sinus infection just a weally bad head cold...YUK". Well, I'm pissed because I want to load my kid up on antibiotics and so I ask if we just continue on with the Motrin and Tylenol but not Motrin and Tylenol because they have been recalled again and that is when he rolls his mobile bar stool type seat over to my chair and places his hand on my sweet, creamy, very virginal if I were a virgin thigh. I can't tell you what he said after that moment because I was too busy having this conversation in my head...

"Why didn't I flinch when he put his hand on my thigh?"
"Did I flinch?"
"Should he have his hand there?"
"How long is he going to keep his hand there?"
"OMG am I being assaulted?"
"Will they be waiving my copay?"

Fondly ~ SumSum

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