So, last week I proceeded to get completely annihilated on a weekday because isn't that what great mothers and wives do? Oh... Well, I was raised a little different I guess. Anyway, I never posted the below because at the time, in my drunken insanity, I thought it was terrible...I read it today and it's soooooo terrible that it's fucking GREAT! I might just get drunk tonight and go for round 2!!! The funniest part about the previous sentence is the use of the word might. Mommy LOVES her medicine!!!!!!!
Side note - I left the spelling errors because I think it truly expresses what a complete rock star I am on Tuesdays.
Tuesday, August 26th at entirely too early to be this loaded.
This an experiment...
I've been into the sauce and I'm about to blog. It could be a total nightmare or it might be the best 3 minutes of your life...similar to a one night stand. Let's see how it goes.
Some disclaimers ~ As I am typing this I have no idea where it might go and therefore am not liable for anything I might say about anything. In addition, I'm not that drunk, yes I have consumed three very large vodka and tonics on a random Tuesay night but the only thing being affected right now is my ability to find the period button, . See? Speaking of periods, I'm on mine...I thought you should know.
I have decided to purge in this post anyhtign that comes to mind...
Right now I'll have you know I hate smoking, the smell and the people that do it...however, I have just smoked three cigarettes so take from that what you will judgey mcjudgerton...maybe I am more buzzed than I thought.
This is not going well...maybe I should pick a topic. Hmm, how about people that you manage at work that talk to you like you are a retard.
I have one of these...I tell her a new policy or procedure or something I have handked for her out of kindness and she sits down in her chair, clasps her hands together as if to pray and says EVERYM'FGTIME, "well, I'm not certain how you used to do things but here we...." She does a lot of eyelash batting and nodding her head back and forth as if hse is going into some epilectic seizure. The whole time this scene is palying out I smile because all I want to do is back hand that smug look off her face and tell her that if it was being done the right way the million years she has been there then maybe I wouldn't have to tell her a different way of dpoign it.
Okay, this isn't working out. As I'm typing this I am thinking to myself, "are you really going to post this shit?" Seriosuly it's awful and I am having a hard time even typing it...at the same tiume I'm thinking, "I did say it was an ecperiment so they knew what they were getting into." Let's continue...
I'm smoking another cigarette...that makes four.
This is where it ended. I might have passed out or developed lung cancer or made a pizza but more than likely passed out as cancer enveloped my lungs while making a pizza...yeah, that's more my style. I'm a multi-tasker!