Are you trying to tell me something...

There was a time in my life when I had certain underwears that were specifically worn during my period.  The point of that being I didn't want to goop up my hot little numbers that would be ripped off during steamy bouts of fornication.  The point of that back story is there was a time in my life when I was particular about panties but that time is loooooooooong gone darlin'.  In fact, any pair of underwear are fair play at anytime regardless of what may or may not be coming out of my va-jay-jay. 
That being said, over the holiday break our dryer took a shit.  My mom and my mother in law, the saints they are, jumped at the chance reluctantly offered to help do our laundry.  Now, I am no fool and I hate doing laundry so I was all like, "hellz yeah, I'll drop it off now" and they were all like, "shit fo sho foo"...well, it was more like, "yes, bring it but you DO need to get your dryer fixed"...mmm hmm, I'll get right on that.  Are you completely confused with where I am going here...wait for it because climax happens in...
5:
On Christmas Eve I reach into a stocking at my mom's house...
4:
In front of my own family, my brother and his family...
3:
On Christmas Day I unwrap a box beautifully adorned in bows and lace at my in laws house...
2:
In front of my own family and ALL of my in-laws to find on both occasions...
1:
A 5 pack of Hanes cotton hipsters.