Blog Nog

In the spirit of Christmas I wanted to write a little diddy about what I believe gets most people through the holidays...not me though, definitely not me...

To the tune of Jingle Bells (ahem, that's me clearing my throat)

Rushing to the booze
It's the smartest thing to do
Because pretty soon your drunkest aunt
Will begin to molest you

Everyone points and laughs
As she starts to rub your ass
It's much too late to realize
That half xanex won't last

You exit in a rush
Give the door a heavy push
In hopes your pie eyed cousin
Has broken up purple kush

Ohhhhh...
Booze and pills, booze and pills
Wrapped left handers too
Getting through the holidays
Do what you gotta do

(bows to applause...thank you, thank you)

Happy Holidays blogging buddies!  "Just say No" and let's hope 2011 brings me some better material...
<3 ~ SumSum

This will only hurt for a second...

I apologize for my absence...I'm super duper busy at work and that is when I blog...I'm extremely productive!  Want to hire me?

Short and sweet and completely offensive to Catholics (apologies in advance)...

I was driving home from work and I always pass a Catholic school.  This specific evening, I see the priest who is a rather young, dark haired gentlemen with a perfectly styled coif walking with a teenage boy, dressed in a basketball uniform leaving what appears to be the priest's quarters and returning to the school located across the street.  I immediately jump to the conclusion that this child has just paid his alter boy dues.  I concoct this elaborate and rather disturbing story line in my head and then make it my mission to try and get a look at the boys face.  What expression lies there...guilt, shame, sorrow, maybe even acceptance?  This seriously happened in less then 4 seconds as I passed the school.  I was completely sold that in about 5 years I am going to see this kid on A&E's Intervention that I had goose bumps for half of my hour drive home.

What does this prove?  Simply that the scene in Basketball Diaries where Coach Swifty tries to touch Jim's nugs in the locker room has made every grown man with a perfectly side swept, lacquered hairstyle accompanied with a high school age basketball player a pedophile.  Completely reasonable...